In August, we talked about “Feeling All Our Feelings”, or how people have a tendency to ignore Feelings by using “coping strategies” (really avoidance techniques) so we don’t have to experience our feelings. Some people use perusing-the-internet, or reading books, or scrolling FB/IG on their phone to “hide” and avoid certain feelings. Some people use busy-ness & “doing all the things” to avoid acknowledging how they’re feeling. And some of us use alcohol, sex or drugs as the preferred way of ignoring all those feelings.
None of this is “wrong”. Please don’t misunderstand. Most of us have experienced some kind of trauma in our lives, and it can be “just too much” to try to sit in that shit alll the time.
But always avoiding our Feelings isn’t healthy either…
So… It becomes a point of thinking about Balance. Moving toward Balance. Using the internet/phone/books SOMEtimes, but also simply sitting with yourself and realizing exactly what you’re feeling in the moment, SOMEtimes. Trying not to ALWAYS avoid the feelings, but also trying not to stew in the feelings for prolonged periods, either.
Balance. All of Life is about Balance.
We also talked about Shame & Vulnerability. How most of us have that Internal Critic that frequently has us feeling Shame. And how so many of us absolutely hate the possibility of feeling Vulnerable…
Brene Brown has studied shame and vulnerability for many many years. We highly recommend her books.
Our recommendations & conclusions…? Compassion for Self. Treating yourself with the same words & actions that you would treat a good friend.
And that boils down to Self Love. Look yourself in the mirror and say aloud, “I love you!”
And if you can’t start with that, then at least try, “I’m willing to Love Myself.”
Self Love makes a World of difference!